dream-journal
march, 2006
What happened was this. I was meditating alot and having a lot of spiritual experiences...feeling the urge to channel a spirit guide, (I believe) vibrating while meditating and having in general alot of bizarre synchronistic sort of things happen. I was socializing alot as well and had alot going on in general. I was also in the midst of creating my web site.
I was studying alot about astral projection and had huge amounts of energy...enough to make me wonder about manic episodes, but I was trying as hard as possible to channel into good things and focus it so as not to waste it. I was also very dedicated to breaking some kind of spiritual ground and, with more meditation, began falling into "trance" quite often. Sometimes, it seemed, too often. I would also wind up taking "astral naps" in which I would sort of fall over as if nearly unconscious. I was, in fact, conscious but in a different state. I would be asleep and awake at the same time. I felt like I was at peace...feeling wonderful....and also like I was not just on the couch or the bed but sort "everywhere" all at once. I felt like my energy was floating all over the region.
One night I fell into trance. I could feel it very strong that night. I wanted to break ground and astral project. SO, I kept going with it. However, it was a creepy night and I was feeling somewhat afraid. The power behind it felt almost unnatural. I became more afraid. Perhaps foolishly, though, I wanted to do it and felt the need to follow through. I continued to clear my mind and raise the vibration. I could feel things happen....the opening of the third eye is a wonderful feeling that is unmistakable. It feels like a door that was long ago shut is finally opening and new sources of energy and sensation make themselves apparent. This energy kept building, but my fear continued to build with it!
Just like in dreams, it was up to me to stay positive, but scary thoughts began to seep into my brain. I even allowed the thought of possession to enter in, even though I know that is a big mistake. I looked in the mirror and could barely recognize my own face.
So....I began to vibrate. I got up, feeling like I was going to channel. I was deep in the state of trance. I went to Ken's room where he was lying down and I told him I wanted to channel. Then I said, "no, I don't feel well. I think I need to go to the bathroom."
This was all very bizarre and had nothing to do with drugs or anything like that. It felt like there was alot of power running through me, but I was scared and didn't quite know how to handle it.
I felt a sudden need to go to the bathroom, like I was about to get the runs or something. Weird, I know. I don't mean to be gross, but there is something interesting about the physical things that occurred in this situation and how they seem to be directly related to whole body being totally overstimulated all at the same time...
Halfway to the bathroom, I fell down and apparently had a complex seizure. I was shaking and my eyes rolled back into my head.
Obviously, this was not the intended outcome. Psychic seizures are a true medical phenomenon, however, and they do happen. However, I know myself and I know that I have never had a seizure before that instance. I also should mention that there was an extremely loud roaring sound in my ears before I passed out and after I woke up. When I woke up, I felt myself slipping quickly into trance again. I was too scared to attempt anything related to astral projection at this time and so I had Ken get me some food quickly so I could "ground out" as quickly as possible and not slip into trance again.
This was, for the most part, discouraging to me. I felt like I was getting somewhere and I let fear take over and that happened. So, the following week, after I had let things settle a bit and taken a bit of a break, I tried it again. I waited until the atmosphere was calm and serene. It was a beautiful morning near dawn. Everyone was asleep, except me. I woke feeling calm and wonderfully tranquil. I decided to meditate and go into trance. This time, I went through the chakra to the other side. I heard a voice clearly say, "JUST GO!" as I went through. My spirit guide was telling me to quit lingering in the doorway as that makes me afraid. I hung out above my face for just a moment...feeling just like a baby in a womb. It was wonderful, calm and totally non-threatening. I went back inside shortly after and woke up totally conscious and extremely happy.
contact me at melinda.moellering@gmail.com
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